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Stardate (SD): 3087.07.20   Greetings from Planet Colonia, the land of milk and honey-mustard chicken fingers.   The summer rains are here. Was it a day that passed so quickly that another season has come and gone? Almost everyone made it home before yesterday’s torrential downpour of sulfuric acid rain. Jerry was still out in the field when it started to drizzle. He was severely burned before crawling to safety beneath a collapsed bridge. Mr. Jason Flaggerty performed a rain

Alan Wiebe performing "Rail'n'Jail and the Catch-Out Kid" The Jake Epp Public Library in Steinbach, Manitoba hosted an open-mic night on September 25, 2025. Alan Wiebe performed “ Rail’n’Jail and the Catch-Out Kid ” from his book Saxophone Blues , the “Television Show” for books. In this comedy of fiction, Jimothy Dyck - a somewhat misguided dreamer determined to make it big despite his lack of talent - hops a freight train with a weathered hobo named “Rail’n’Jail” Jenkins.

Jimothy Dyck, captain of the starship Explorer says good-bye forever to his family and leaves on a mission that makes no sense.  It was Earth year 3084. Jimothy Dyck, captain of the starship Explorer , was leaving for his final mission in space.   Jimothy gathered his wife, Maria, and two children, Jimothy Jr. and Jennica, to say goodbye forever.   “Where you going, dad?” Jimothy Jr. asked without looking up from his phone.   “I’m going to find the biggest black hole in the e

Today is the first day of filming Sierra Strider’s new movie and she has butterflies in her stomach.   “Sierra!” Vincent Albergotti, the film’s director, greets her with a huge smile. “I’m thrilled to meet you.”   At age 47, Vincent Albergotti’s sun-kissed skin is tanned and leathery from years of living on the Golden Coast in Southern California, producing films for adult entertainment.   Vincent is renowned in the adult entertainment industry for his rigorous methods that h

Jimothy Dyck lived to survive another day at the office. It was late by the time he finally got home.   The only working streetlight on Harmony Lane flickered sadly at Jimothy as he pulled up in front of his house. He parked his 1997 faded brown Ford Taurus in the driveway and let out a sigh. When he got to the front door, Jimothy stopped to loosen his tie and take a deep breath.   “Honey, I’m home!” Jimothy opened the door and called to his wife, Maria.   The house was compl

Jimothy Dyck got to work early that morning. He stepped into the elevator. “Smooth Jazz” played softly over the speaker. Jimothy pressed the button to go up, humming along to the beat.   “This is the most perfect elevator ride,” Jimothy thought as he closed his eyes and went to his happy place – where the zombies couldn’t get him.   Ding!   The elevator stopped.   Jimothy opened his eyes. The entire office was crowded in his cubicle.   Suzi from I.T. had just been bitten by a

Jimothy Dyck was working overtime at the office – again. He was covering for Jerry, who hadn’t been seen since Monday. The birthday card for Linda he left on Jerry’s desk was still lying there, unsigned.   “Where the hell is Jerry?” Jimothy complained to his boss, Cheryl. “He still owes me five dollars for Linda’s gift.”   “He never called in,” Cheryl replied without looking up from her computer.     “He’s probably dead,” Jimothy concluded. “Got his face eaten off by a zombie

Jimothy Dyck was asleep in the Trans-Canada Railyard, dreaming of anywhere but here. His dreams were too big for the small town he left behind. He was headed west, to make it big, with a train hopper named Laverne “Rail’n’Jail” Jenkins. But without any direction, he was just wandering aimlessly between endless rows of rail cars until, finally, the distant wail of a midnight freight train pulled Jimothy from his restless dreamland.   “Wake up, Jimothy!” Jenkins whispered, givi

Jimothy Dyck was headed west with a train hopper known as “Rail’n’Jail” Jenkins. They’d spent all night in the Trans-Canada Railyard, where abandoned warehouses with graffiti-stained walls decayed along Winnipeg’s forgotten streets of nowhere. As Jimothy contemplated the spray-painted designs, he couldn’t help but wonder what he was really doing with his life.   “This is bunk!” Jimothy complained, bored of his existence. “When is this train coming? It feels like we’ve been he

Jimothy Dyck was trying to run away from life, but his backpack was snagged on a branch.   “I can’t even get away from this stupid place!” Jimothy fumed in the Trans-Canada Railyard. “It just keeps holding me back!”   Jimothy was leavi ng home for the first time. His dreams were too big for the small town he grew up in. Jimothy was headed west, determined to make it big, despite his lack of talent. His big plan – hop a freight train out of town – if only he could escape this

Winnipeg’s Golden Boy slept beneath swollen clouds choked with tears the night Jimothy Dyck hopped a freight train out of town.   It was a grey summer in late June, 2010. Jimothy stepped off the #72 bus on his way to the Trans-Canada Railyard. He was all sweaty from lugging his backpack and camping gear across the city.   Jimothy, a somewhat misguided dreamer, was headed west because, “That’s where people go to rebrand their image,” he thought.   The only worldly possessions

Scene 1 Scene 2 Scene 3 Scene 4 Scene 5 Scene 6 Scene 7 Scene 8 Scene 1   It’s night-night time in Los Angeles. I can see the heat steaming off Hollywood Freeway.    The city is plunged in a heat wave. A massive high pressure cell has taken up residence in the upper atmosphere and shows no sign of leaving. Hot air is trapped beneath the lingering mass with no place to go. Worse. Los Angeles is like a giant parking lot baking in the sun. The urban heat island effect causes con

I recently crossed stand-up comedy off my bucket list at The Public Brewhouse and Gallery open-mic comedy night. The venue was packed...

Stardate (SD): 3087.06.29 Hello, everyone. I’ll spend another evening with you. Perhaps you’ll find some value in this update.   I’d like to thank Sauron Letkeman for the message. Letkemen wrote, “Long-time listener, first-time caller - your broadcasts prompted me to reach out. I’m a huge fan!” I certainly wish they would prompt my former schoolmates and friends to follow my blog, News from Planet Colonia !   We’re glad to receive letters from Earth, no matter who sends them.

Stardate (SD): 3087.06.01 Greetings, Earthlings. I’ve got more news from Planet Colonia.   Mr. Jackov Siemens shot a space werewolf on the evening of SD.05.06. Two more were spotted but managed to escape. This humanoid wolf-beast again caught a cow for its luscious meal. If only they would eat the whole cow, it wouldn’t cost so many – but they only devour what they like: the liver, heart, and blood, leaving the rest for someone else to clean up. Then they catch another. We se

Stardate (SD): 3087.03.29 We barely made it through the rainy season. The cargo ships that supply our colony came back yesterday. They were stuck for weeks in our capital city, New Colonia – the sulfuric acid rain makes travel impossible on Planet Colonia. Consequently, the captain and crew had to spend Easter away from home. When the ships return, everyone rushes to grab their packages from Earth. But so many packages seem to get lost in the wormhole that many go back empty

Alan Wiebe Alan Wiebe is a Canadian writer, producer, and author of Saxophone Blues , the “television show” for books. This comedic...