Jimothy Dyck vs. A Piece of Paper
Updated: Sep 20
The "Television Show" for Books presents:
"Jimothy Dyck vs. A Piece of Paper"
Jimothy Dyck vs. A Piece of Paper is a D&D-style collaborative writing game.
Rules of Engagement
Attack length: ~50 words per turn
Winning condition: A six-sided die (D6) determines the winner. The battle resets after a fatal strike
Mode: Solo
Characters: Player 1 writes attacks for Jimothy and the piece of paper
Reference: Read “Rules of Engagement”
Scene Setup
Jimothy Dyck was writing song lyrics for his band.
“Burn, baby, burn.”
“Watch the world burn.”
“Burn, baby, burn, baby, baby, burn, baby, burn, yeah.”
He was in grade 10 – who did you expect, John Lennon?
That’s when the piece of paper he was writing on came to life and challenged him to a game of rock, paper, scissors.
Determine Attacker 1
Flip coin to determine who attacks first:
Heads = Jimothy
Tails = Piece of Paper
Outcome: Tails, the piece of paper attacks first.
Attack 1: The Piece of Paper Attacks Jimothy – “Paper Airstrike”
The piece of paper folded itself into an airplane.
“Pilot to base. I am approaching the target.”
“Base to pilot. You are cleared to engage.”
“Target locked.”
The paper airplane dive-bombed directly into Jimothy’s eyeball.
“Mayday! Mayday!” Jimothy screamed as he crash-landed in an open field.
“Target eliminated.”
Does Jimothy survive the airstrike, or does the piece of paper complete its mission? Roll the die to find out (need 6 for a fatal strike).
Die Roll: 1 → Attack unsuccessful
Attack 2: Jimothy Attacks the Piece of Paper – “Burn After Writing”
Jimothy struck a match.
“Burn, baby, burn.”
He ignited the piece of paper.
“Watch the world burn.”
The piece of paper went up in flames.
“Burn, baby, burn.”
All that was left of the piece of paper was a pile of ash.
Jimothy grinned.
“Yeah, baby, burn.”
Does Jimothy win a Grammy for his amazing song, or is it forever lost to the wind? Roll the die to find out (need 5 or higher for a fatal strike).
Die Roll: 3 → Attack unsuccessful
Attack 3: The Piece of Paper Attacks Jimothy – “Bad Review”
The piece of paper wrote a letter and mailed itself to Jimothy.
Jimothy opened the envelope and read the note:
“You’re a hack writer, Jimothy Dyck.”
Jimothy gulped.
“You’re never going to make it.”
Tears streamed down Jimothy’s face as he kept reading.
“Nobody likes your stories.”
“Words hurt,” Jimothy cried.
Jimothy felt so bad that he sobbed and sobbed and sobbed himself to death.
The doctors said it was the first known case of someone dying from self-pity.
It was quite pathetic, really – even for Jimothy.
Does the piece of paper apologize for the mean note, or does Jimothy quit writing and live the quiet life of a turnip farmer? Roll the die to find out (need 4 or higher for a fatal strike).
Die Roll: 2 → Attack unsuccessful
Attack 4: Jimothy Attacks the Piece of Paper – “Turnip the Music!”
Jimothy tore the letter into a million little pieces.
“I appreciate your feedback,” Jimothy noted as he threw the pieces of paper into the recycling bin.
“Save the trees!” he smirked.
The shredded remains were taken away, reduced to a pulp, and turned into someone’s grocery list.
“Milk.”
“Eggs.”
“Turnips.”
Does the piece of paper find a new purpose in life, or is this the final chapter? Roll the die to find out (need 3 or higher for a fatal strike).
Die Roll: 5 → Attack successful
Jimothy wins the fight!
Resolution
Jimothy and the piece of paper faced off for one final showdown.
“Rock”
“Paper.”
“Scissors.”
“Shoot!”
Jimothy threw scissors.
“Scissors beats paper!” Jimothy exclaimed.
“Noo!”
“Begone!” Jimothy shouted. “Go back from whence you came.”
The piece of paper was banished to the copy room, where it eventually got jammed in a printer.
