Jimothy Dyck vs. Killer Robot

Jimothy Dyck vs. Killer Robot

Jimothy Dyck vs. Killer Robot is a D&D-style collaborative writing game.

Rules of Engagement

• Attack length: 50-100 words per turn

• Winning condition: A six-sided die (D6) determines the winner. The battle resets after a fatal strike

• Mode: Solo

• Characters: Player 1 writes attacks for Jimothy and the killer robot

• Reference: Read “Rules of Engagement”

Scene Setup

Jimothy Dyck just wanted a snack before third period, but the vending machine ate all of his money.

“Stupid machine!” Jimothy mumbled as he banged on the glass.

Suddenly, the vending machine flickered and flashed:

 KILL MODE ACTIVATED

…as it updated its malicious software.

“You have selected… DEATH.”

The killer vending machine cornered Jimothy in the school cafeteria while he was still on hold with customer support.

Determine Attacker 1

Flip coin to determine who attacks first:

Heads = Jimothy

Tails = Killer Robot

Outcome: Tails, Killer Robot attacks first.

Attack 1: Killer Robot Attacks Jimothy – “Mean Machine”

The killer vending machine rocked precariously back and forth.  

“Danger,” it beeped sarcastically, “Do not shake the machine.”

The murderous machine tipped itself forward and fell on Jimothy, crushing every bone in his body.

Jimothy was flattened like a pancake and spent the next 47 weeks in the hospital.

“Should’ve read the warning!” it mocked.

Does Jimothy survive the Killer Robot’s deadly attack, or live to die another day? Roll the die to find out (need 6 for a fatal strike).

Die Roll: 4 → Attack unsuccessful

Attack 2: Jimothy Attacks Killer Robot – “Snack Attack”

Jimothy’s liquified bones seeped out from beneath the machine.

He reassembled into his true form, pried open the killer vending machine’s control panel, and hacked its code from KILL MODE to SNACK MODE.

“Free snacks!” Jimothy shouted.

The killer vending machine began dispensing free protein bars to everyone in the world.

People lined up for miles.

World hunger was solved.

Unfortunately, the vending machine company eventually went bankrupt. It was purchased by a private equity firm and somehow became worse.

Does the Killer Robot get sent to the scrapyard, or end up living its best life? Roll the die to find out (need 5 or higher for a fatal strike).

Die Roll: 3 → Attack unsuccessful

Attack 3: Killer Robot Attacks Jimothy “Sold Out”

The killer vending machine retracted its robotic claw.

“Need to restock!” it let out a maniacal laugh before stuffing Jimothy into its glass display case.

The death bot packaged Jimothy’s organs and sold them off one by one.

Jimothy’s heart went to a little girl in Japan. His kidney gave an accountant in Maine a second chance at life.

The display flashed:

SOLD OUT.

“Thank you for your purchase. Have a nice day.”

Does Jimothy lose all of his parts, or receive a refund for his lost heart? Roll the die to find out (need 4 or higher for a fatal strike).

Die Roll: 5 → Attack successful

The Killer Robot is victorious in battle!

Resolution

Jimothy’s organs gave hope to sick patients all over the world.

The killer robot received a key to the city.

It even landed a major book deal.

Critics called it “meh.”

Everything worked out pretty well for everyone.

Except for Jimothy, of course.