Jimothy Dyck vs. Giant

Jimothy Dyck vs. Giant

Jimothy Dyck vs. Giant is a D&D-style collaborative writing game.

Rules of Engagement

• Attack length: 50–100 words per turn

• Winning condition: A six-sided die (D6) determines the winner. The battle resets after a fatal strike

• Mode: Solo

• Characters: Player 1 writes attacks for Jimothy and the giant

• Reference: Read “Rules of Engagement”

Scene Setup

Jimothy Dyck was having the most boring day at school. His weird brain daydreamed of anywhere but here.

Just then, the classroom windows shook as a 70-foot giant challenged Jimothy to mortal combat.

“I’ll reduce you to a fraction!” the giant yelled.

“There ain’t no flies on me!” Jimothy hollered back.

The football field became their battle arena.

It was on like Donkey Kong!

Determine Attacker 1

Flip coin to determine who attacks first:

Heads = Jimothy

Tails = Giant

Outcome: Heads, Jimothy attacks first.

Attack 1: Jimothy Attacks Giant – “Spitzkrieg Plop”

Jimothy reached into his pocket dimension and whipped out an automatic spitball shooter.

“A plus B equals… see you in Hell!” Jimothy shouted as he pulled the trigger.

A barrage of moist paper pellets blasted the giant’s face. He shielded his eyes, tripped over a goal post, and landed on the football field with a thunderous crash.

The giant was placed on the injured list and lost his scholarship to Yale.

Does the giant recover from his injury, or die from a fatal fall? Roll the die to find out (need 6 for a fatal strike).

Die Roll: 3 → Attack unsuccessful

Attack 2: Giant Attacks Jimothy – “Atomic Wedgie”

The giant cast a healing spell and felt as good as new – maybe better.

He reached down with two enormous fingers and pinched the back of Jimothy’s underwear.

“Time to raise your grades!” he roared, yanking up Jimothy’s underwear.

Jimothy’s underwear went so far up his crack, he was cleanly split in two. 

Does Jimothy survive the giant’s atomic wedgie, or can he get himself together? Roll the die to find out (need 5 or higher for a fatal strike).

Die Roll: 6 → Attack successful

The giant wins in mortal combat!

Resolution

“Jimothy!”

The teacher called on Jimothy, pulling him from his waking dreamland.

“See me after class.”

Jimothy gulped.

He looked out the window.

“Pick your battles wisely.”

The giant winked.

“Or soon we’ll meet again!”