First Contact

Stardate (SD): 3087.03.29

We barely made it through the rainy season. The cargo ships that supply our colony came back yesterday. They were stuck for weeks in our capital city, New Colonia – the sulfuric acid rain makes travel impossible on Planet Colonia. Consequently, the captain and crew had to spend Easter away from home. When the ships return, everyone rushes to grab their packages from Earth. But so many packages seem to get lost in the wormhole that many go back empty handed.

A number of our colonists are sick. Mrs. Serena Tide is reported ill for several weeks. Mrs. Claudia Felele is feeling better after an illness of 3 months. Mr. Markuth Kahn is improving after a severe illness that left him blind. Mrs. Verna Toews has been bedridden for months. People say it is March Madness. It seems this delirium, once it gets into a person, they can’t get rid of it until the championship is over. Appendectomies are common, as are butthole transplants. Mrs. Helena Boil and her daughter just returned from Colonia City after receiving medical attention. Both have blisters, still from the time so many colonists suffered from climatic sores.

Mrs. Lena Hellyah has recovered from a sand-viper strike. So far, these venomous reptilians have stung only 5 colonists. All have recovered.

We are trying to get a new doctor here. Our current doctor is a paleontologist.

Annah, daughter of John-Jakob Turnip, because engaged to Luke, son of Rev. John-Jakob Funk of Seinfeld Colony on SD.03.18.

It will soon be planting time again. We grow genetically modified corn, wheat, and soy beans engineered to survive the acid rains. Too bad the radioactive soil destroyed last year’s crop. The good Lord giveth and the good Lord taketh away.

The terraforming is going strong. People are always glad when it’s their turn to produce oxygen. There’s a lot of development to do here, or they can sell their oxygen for income.

We have our homestead to finish, especially since it gets really cold in winter – much like winters in Manitoba, Canada.

It’s still warm during the day with temperatures reaching up to 60°C, but at night they go below -80°C.

Mr. Paul-Martin-Taylor from Yantzeed is visiting. Some say he plans to make the trip back to Earth. Zara Boije, Shaan Harder, and Mrs. B. Lebowski are visiting here from Mennotoba. Several families have moved here from the other colonies on Planet Colonia.

Mr. and Mrs. Mort and Grace Stanley are the proud parents of a baby boy, born SD.03.01.

School opens soon, for the children will have to learn their lessons again instead of playing video games all day.

Some time ago, wild insectoid locust scum were travelling along the riverbank. Every so often, one fell into the holes we dug to trap them. But now it seems there’s no luck anymore. Space werewolves are seen on nights of the full moon – there are three that orbit Planet Colonia. A few weeks ago, a space werewolf again killed Jerry’s cow.

That’s life on Planet Colonia – to our relatives and friends in Canada – please fill our mailboxes with more packages.

Until next time,

Don’t let the facehuggers bite!

Maria Dyck

Colonia Steinbach

Planet Colonia

Milky Way Galaxy

-End Transmission-

E02: The Ol' Horse Hustle